Title: The Borscht Song
Categories: Soup Vegetable
Yield: 1 Pot

4	qt	Water
		Salt
		Pepper
		Parsley
1		Bay leaf
3	lb	Chicken; cut in pieces
2		Onions
4	cl	Garlic
1	tb	Butter
2	cn	Tomatoes; or 1 qt fresh
1	tb	Dill weed
6		Carrots
6		Potatoes
4		Beets
1	sm	Cabbage
GARNISH
		Rye bread and butter
		Sour cream
		Garlic cloves

First you take four quarts of water - put it in a pot. You start a blaze beneath and add some salt, but not a lot. Add some pepper and some parsley and a bay leaf, don't you know, When the water starts to boil, then you know you're on the go! Then get a chicken (though some will say a turkey tastes the best), You chop it into pieces with the giblets and the neck, You add it to the water and turn the heat down low And you let that chicken simmer for a half an hour or so. When the chicken meat is cooked, take it out with extra care. You put it in a bowl inside your cold refrigidaire. While the meat is slowly cooling, take a break and have a smoke. Or while the soup pot simmers you can watch your favorite soap. Now it's time to get two onions, and get four garlic cloves. You chop them up real fine, then in the frying pan they goes. Saute them in some butter til they're brown and kinda clear. You add them to the soup and now tomato time is here! Now, if you grow your own tomatoes, one quart is all you need. If you use the store-bought kind, get two cans of Del Mon Tee. Add the 'maters to the soup and let it simmer if you will, Then add about a tablespoon of dried or fresh-cut dill. Now get half a dozen carrots and potatoes five or six, Four or five red beets and chop them up to bite-size bits. Add the veggies to the soup and let it simmer there and thicken. Go back to the refrigidaire and get that cooled-off chicken. Take the meat off of the bones and take away the skin and fat. Put the meat into the soup and give the rest to your old cat. Now the soup is nearly finished and your race is almost won. But don't forget the cabbage, that's the last thing that is done. One small head of cabbage that you shred up fairly fine And once you put it in the soup it doesn't take much time. You can start to set your table, and call your dinner guest. But don't forget the condiments that'll put them to the test. First you get some rye bread that's full of caraway seeds. You slice it nice and thick - use lots of butter if you please! Then next comes thick white sour cream to make you moan with pleasure. You plop it in the soup and now you're really under pressure 'Cause the final step is garlic cloves that are nice and fat. You peel them till they're naked and you eat 'em JUST LIKE THAT!! you dip them in a bowl of salt and eat those puppies raw And now you're ready for the finest meal you ever saw!

And Nirvana is at hand - It's the best soup in the land - And I'll spell it for you one more time so you will understand: B O R S C H T Tis the sweetest thing this side of heaven mama made for me; For breakfast, lunch or dinner, any day of the week it's B O R S C H T B O R S C H T, It's made me healthy wealthy wise, unless I sound too meek It's made me what I am and I'll continually speak for B O R S C H T.

Originally sung on the radio show "A Prairie Home Companion" by Peter Ostroushko. Posted on GEnie Food and Wine RT in 1993 by Chuck Taggart who added this note:

I made an excellent borscht the other night, "Good as my mama's," said my Russian guest Vasily. I got the recipe from a fellow y'all my remember from the radio show "A Prairie Home Companion", Peter Ostroushko. All I did was follow the song lyric. To make it more like the magnificent borscht I had in Moscow recently, though, I'd cube only the potatoes and coarsely grate or shred the beets. Slice or grate the carrots to your preference. Other than that I did exactly what Pete said.

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