Title: How To Make Tiger Balm
Categories: Humor Nonfood
Yield: 1 Servings

1	c	Petroleum jelly
1	tb	Oil of eucalyptus
1/2	ts	Cayenne pepper
3	oz	Powdered eye of newt
6		Bat wings
3		French Hens
2		Turtledoves [shaken, not stirred]
1		Partridge
1		Pear Tree
1	l	Nitroglycerine
1		Live tiger

Blend together petroleum jelly, oil of eucalyptus and cayenne pepper. Add eye of newt, bat wings, french hens, turtle doves, partridge and pear tree. Blend well.

When ingredients are beaten smooth, add nitroglycerine and live tiger.

Blend well in La machine. If it doesn't explode, rub resulting mixture on sore area[s]. It may be difficult to fit a whole tiger into the blender, if so, a chopped tiger may be substituted.

If the tiger gets loose, run in front of the nearest snow plow, and hope the thing chases you!

Ruth

From: Dorothy Flatman Date: 08-27-97 (12:12) Occ Bbs (51) Cooking

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